The Whacky (and Sexy) World of Funky Monster (Part 1 of 2)

Chuckles the Spanking Clown a Halloween Haunt

I hope readers will enjoy the work of another young artist who goes under the name Funky Monster. Funky Master’s work is mostly PhotoShop creations and features that essential element, wicked humour.

Funky posts regularly to his pages at Deviant Art (CLICK HERE)

and to X/Twitter : (CLICK HERE)

Click on the pictures to see full sized images

Class Policy

Getting POPS from Pops

Monk Mischief – Halloween lesson for a Prankster

Nude Art Model Spanked on First Day

More From Funky Monster Tomorrow

The Shaman’s Revenge – Chapter 23

The Shaman’s Revenge Chapter 23

Jordan and the Paddle Drone

Jordan could not believe what he had just heard, he had faced a lot of different criticism in the past, but nobody had ever suggested what Officer Tartarus had just accused him of. Jordan was very proud of his fit and well toned athletic physique, so his new guardian’s words had really hit a nerve.

I am not out of shape!” he almost snarled with indignation “There’s no way I’m …. FAT!!”

You will be if you spend all day slouching there like a couch potato and eating chips!” replied Tartarus

I have been here for fine minutes!”

And your hair is too long, you look like a mess!”

Mandy Morino says she likes my hair like this!”

Mandy Morino is a slut!”

Jordan frowned, but decided not to respond, he didn’t want to admit that the neighbour’s 18-year-old daughter Mandy’s sluttish nature was one of her main attractions, and besides was also beginning to suspect the Ranger was not interested in girls.

I am not out of shape, I swim every day!”

Swimming is good!” replied Tartarus “But you need to run, when did you last go for a run?”

There’s nowhere to run, the garden is too small, and the park is full of homeless people and drug addicts!”

We could go to the beach, Sunny Bay Cove is not far, there is plenty of space to run there, and as it’s mid-week there will be nobody there. You could run for miles!”

After some arguing, Jordan reluctantly agreed, deciding a day at the beach might be fun, even if it meant he, would be stuck with Tartarus all day and had to run a bit.

An hour later, they arrived at Sunny Bay Cove, and, as Officer Tartarus had predicted, they had the beach to themselves. It was also a very hot day, and Jordan was keen to get out of his street clothes and into something more suitable for the beach.

The Ranger, who was sitting in a deckchair he’s brought with them, watched Jordan undress with a crooked grin on his face. He knew Jordan felt uncomfortable being naked in front of him, but he also knew that there was nothing Jordan could do about it.

It was immediately obvious that Jordan was not “Out of shape” or “fat”, as had been suggested earlier, he was in fact in excellent shape, with a the lithe and fit body of a Healthy young athlete. However, Tartarus could not resist a little unkind teasing “You need to loose a few pounds off that fat butt!” he snorted, pointing at Jordan’s perfectly proportioned bottom.

Jordan glowered sulkily and grabbed the bag containing his running gear, anxious to cover his nakedness.

However, when he unzipped the bag, he found there was nothing inside apart from a single white jockstrap. The shorts, singlet and running shoes he had packed only an hour before, were no longer there.

Where’s my stuff!” he protested angrily “Did you unpack it?”

You must have packed the wrong bag, you know how careless you are!” replied Tartarus casually

I didn’t pack the wrong bag! .. it was this one”

It can’t have been, otherwise you would have your kit! Wouldn’t you?” Tartarus shrugged “Anyway, you have that!”

A jockstrap?” cried an angry Jordan “I can’t run in nothing but a jockstrap!”

Why not? There’s nobody here to see you, and I won’t look!”

Jordan scowled, he knew the Ranger would look, he always looked.

Just wear the jock!” insisted Tartarus “You can’t wear your street clothes, you’ll sweat like a pig in this heat!”

Reluctantly, Jordan put on the jockstrap, at least it would cover his junk, even though it left his bare butt exposed. Thank God there was no-one else there.

Whilst preoccupied in peering into the distance to ensure there were no observers on the beach, Jordan failed to notice the ranger opening his own beach bag and taking out a large object.

Then he heard a gentle humming sound behind him, he spun round to see a bizarre flying object shaped like a ping-pong paddle, seemingly hovering in the air in front of him.

What the f….. what’s THAT?”

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The Mask and the Jock

I made this quite a few years ago, I can’t remember why, but they are based on the Jim Carey movie “The Mask”. I hope they amuse you!

The Unlucky Scotsman

The JockPunisher

New episode of “The Shaman’s Revenge” to follow

That Thing is Juicy – By Kinky Callum

That Thing is Juicy

A story and illustration by Kinky Callum

Disclaimer: all characters are 18+ fictional ai generated adult males in consensual roleplay scenarios, this story contains spanking and  some

Mild sexual content.

Every time I open TikTok, I tell myself I won’t do it again—I won’t check Tyler’s profile, but I always do. It’s like I’m drawn to it, like I don’t have any control over my own thumbs as they scroll through my feed, inevitably landing on one of his latest thirst traps. The guy is everywhere, and he knows it.

Tyler’s the campus TikTok star, the golden boy that all the girls want with that wavy blond hair, chiselled jaw, and a tall lean shapely body that could have been carved from marble. Everyone knows him, and everyone either loves him or wants to be him. Sure he’s immature , obnoxious, cocky, everything that should make him unbearable. But somehow, all of that just pulls me in deeper. He’s such a stereotypical cute straight boy..

The way he struts around, knowing everyone’s watching, it drives me crazy in ways I can barely admit to myself.

Today, it’s that viral song. *Good googly moogly, that thang is juicy.* And there he is, walking away from the camera in slow motion, his muscular little bubble butt swishing with every step in those tight-fitting gym shorts hiked way up. I can’t look away. His legs are super long, muscular, the kind of legs that make you wonder if he’s real or if he’s just stepped out of some gay porn fantasy.

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The Shaman’s Revenge Chapter 22 (Part 2)

The Shaman’s Revenge Chapter 22 (Part 2)

Jordan and the Speedos from Hell continued

The pool was entirely empty when Jordan dived in and swam a full length under water. For the first time in weeks, Jordan felt a sense of freedom and relief as his skimmed through the cool deep water, wuith the sleekness and agility of a fit young otter. Swimming was the one thing in the world at which he was the most accomplished, and if had had the determination and self discipline to overcome his naturally lazy and self indulgent nature, he could potentially have been a world class athlete.

However, the inevitable of Jordan Draper’s life was that the flaws in his character would forever outweigh his virtues, and, consequentially, he would never achieve his natural potential.

As observers, therefore, we must content ourselves with appreciating his physical beauty and enjoying his ongoing and well deserved discomforts and humiliations.

However, at that moment, Jordan was free from the myriad discomforts which had recently plagued his life. The Ranger, his new guardian, had agreed he could have a morning free from chores and had dropped him off at the old swimming pool at the edge of town “You can relax today” he had said “Tomorrow you have an important role to play at the local charity fair!”

Jordan had no idea what was planned for the fair, but hoped he would at least be allowed to wear clothes. Meanwhile today, it was just a relief to have some cover albeit only his tiny blue speedos.

For a short while he was free of the sense of dread of what might befall him next, which hay have been a kindness, given what was in store for him.

After completing a dozen laps of the pool, Jordan climbed out and made his way along the side of the pool planning to get himself a coke from the vending machine he had noticed by the entrance. He was then he realised he was no longer alone, when he spotted three figures in swimming trunks walking towards him.

At first he did not recognise them, but they certainly recognized him “Hi Jordan!” sniggered Dewey Rees a small built guy in baggy red swimming shorts “Aren’t you supposed to be bare assed? I head you burnt your asshole!”

Jordan glowered at Dewey, furious at this further evidence that the news of his humiliating situation was spreading like wild fire. “Shut up, if you want to keep your teeth!” he snarled.

Don’t threaten my brother!” boomed a second, much larger guy in an angry voice

He always threatens smaller kids!” chimed in the third guy, Sammy Mason, who was also smaller than average “He’s Jordan Draper, the bully we told you about!”

Dewey grinned at Jordan. “This is my BIG brother Bruno!” He’s really pleased to meet you!”

Until too late Jordan had not noticed how large and muscular Bruno was, otherwise he might have been more cautious, but before he could react Dewey’s big brother had grabbed him and thrown him over his shoulder. “We are going to have some fun with you!” he growled

The swimming pool was next to a derelict building, which had once been a sports centre, where Bruno carried the struggling and protesting Jordan, followed by a broadly grinning Dewey and Sammy.

Once inside what had once been the old locker room of the centre, Bruno tied Jordan’s wrists to an exposed beam, forcing him to stand on Tip toe. Meanwhile Dewey produced a role of duct tape, which he used to bing Jordan’s long athletic legs together.

When Jordan objected, a further strip of tape was placed over his mouth, effectively silencing him.

Heuy Jordan” grinned Dewey “Remember those games you used to play with us kids? .. and the ….. um … tricks? Well lets see how you like them when we play them on you.”

Remember that itching powder you put in the kids clothes while they were in the shower?” he continued “Well we’ve got a different brand … this one is extra strong itching powder” he held up a small bag while tossing a similar bag of white powder to Sammy.

It says ‘Worse that a cartload of fleas’ on the packet!” giggled Sammy

Well you are about to find out if that is true!” sneered Dewey as he pulled at the waist band of Jordan’s speedos creating a gap at the back enabling him to sprinkle the contents of the itching powder package over the cheeks of Jordan’s exposed backside, ensuring at least half the powder went down the tight crack between the cheeks.

Meanwhile, Sammy did the same to the front of the speedos, tipping the contents of his bag over Jordan’s cock and balls.

It took a moment for the powder to take effect, and then, suddenly, Jordan became aware of the most extreme and infuriating itching sensation he had ever experienced. He struggled and writhed in extreme discomfort, desperate to pull off his speedos and try to brush the vile substance off himself, but could do nothing as his hands were tied to the beam above his head.

Sammy attempted to maintain a straight face, however Dewey laughed so hard he almost made himself sick. He and his friends had endured years of bullying and hazing by Jordan Draper, so he was enjoying every second of his tormentor’s suffering.

Meanwhile a grinning Bruno ambled to the cornor and picked up a large glass jar “I guess that powder must be irritating you a mite Guy?” he drawled “But don’t worry, my little friends here will eat it all!”

He held up the jar, which Jordan, to his horror saw was full of ants!

Remember that spider you put down Becky Rutter’s shirt?! Sniggered Dewey, “well we couldn’t find a spider, but the ants will be a good substitute!… they are fire ants, so if they nip you, it might sting a little!”

.”… or Sting a lot!” corrected Sammy.

It suddenly occurred to Jordan that the itching powder and ants must have been bought there specially for him, this was no chance encounter, they had known in advance that he would be at the pool. So someone, either the Ranger or Harley must have been in on the plan.

Jordan did not have time to think any more about the set up as he other things to concentrate on, around forty very small but very ferocious things, as Bruno stepped forward, tugged at the waist band of his blue speedos, and tipped the angry contents of the jar into the gap, shaking the jar firmly to ensure every ant fell in, before allowing the tight lycra to snap back into place with all the ants trapped between it and the tender still wildly itching surface of Jordan’s bottom.

Unlike the itching powder, the ants took no time in making their presence known. They may be trapped and lagely immobile , but the one part they could move were their sharp jaws with which they ferociously attacked every inch of Jordan’s poor bottom.

A large number of the fire ants had slipped between his cheeks and they set about biting that intimate and sensitive area, even his rosebud like anus was not spared.

The fire ants certainly lived up to their name, and within seconds, Jordan felt as if his entire bottom was literally on fire.

Jordan’s three assailants stood back, laughing with delight as Jordan hopped up and down, writing in agony and the rapacious insect assault on his nether regions his silent screams muffled by the duct tape covering his mouth.

It was then that all three of Jordan’s new tormentor’s produced a selection of old wooden paddles, both fraternity paddles with greek letters or old fashioned domestic paddles with quaint phrases on them.

We will kill those nasty biting ants for you!” laughed Bruno “Isn’t that good of us?!”

Within moments, the sound of three wooden paddles whacking against ther seat of Jordan’s speedoes echoed round the abandoned building and continued for quite some time.

Jordan’s previous were certainly relishing their revenge.

Some hours later, after Jordan had not returned at the time he had been instructed to, the Ranger and Jordan’s hated cousin Harley went to the pool looking for him. When they found he was not, the Ranger suggested they should check the abandoned sports centre next door, and that is where they found a very sore and unhappy Jordan.

Still tied up and duct tape gagged, he had been hing fron the ceiling by his blue speedos, in an uncomfortable and embarrassing wedgie. Adding to his humiliation a white surrender flag protruded from between his two now red and bad badly bruised and bitten butt cheeks, having been inserted deep into his ant bitten anus.

Jordan Draper was one bully who had certainly met his comeuppance!

To be continued..