Sore Bottom Guys

The Shaman’s Revenge Chapter 23

Jordan and the Paddle Drone

Jordan could not believe what he had just heard, he had faced a lot of different criticism in the past, but nobody had ever suggested what Officer Tartarus had just accused him of. Jordan was very proud of his fit and well toned athletic physique, so his new guardian’s words had really hit a nerve.

“I am not out of shape!” he almost snarled with indignation “There’s no way I’m …. FAT!!”

“You will be if you spend all day slouching there like a couch potato and eating chips!” replied Tartarus

“I have been here for fine minutes!”

“And your hair is too long, you look like a mess!”

“Mandy Morino says she likes my hair like this!”

“Mandy Morino is a slut!”

Jordan frowned, but decided not to respond, he didn’t want to admit that the neighbour’s 18-year-old daughter Mandy’s sluttish nature was one of her main attractions, and besides was also beginning to suspect the Ranger was not interested in girls.

“I am not out of shape, I swim every day!”

“Swimming is good!” replied Tartarus “But you need to run, when did you last go for a run?”

“There’s nowhere to run, the garden is too small, and the park is full of homeless people and drug addicts!”

“We could go to the beach, Sunny Bay Cove is not far, there is plenty of space to run there, and as it’s mid-week there will be nobody there. You could run for miles!”

After some arguing, Jordan reluctantly agreed, deciding a day at the beach might be fun, even if it meant he, would be stuck with Tartarus all day and had to run a bit.

An hour later, they arrived at Sunny Bay Cove, and, as Officer Tartarus had predicted, they had the beach to themselves. It was also a very hot day, and Jordan was keen to get out of his street clothes and into something more suitable for the beach.

The Ranger, who was sitting in a deckchair he’s brought with them, watched Jordan undress with a crooked grin on his face. He knew Jordan felt uncomfortable being naked in front of him, but he also knew that there was nothing Jordan could do about it.

It was immediately obvious that Jordan was not “Out of shape” or “fat”, as had been suggested earlier, he was in fact in excellent shape, with a the lithe and fit body of a Healthy young athlete. However, Tartarus could not resist a little unkind teasing “You need to loose a few pounds off that fat butt!” he snorted, pointing at Jordan’s perfectly proportioned bottom.

Jordan glowered sulkily and grabbed the bag containing his running gear, anxious to cover his nakedness.

However, when he unzipped the bag, he found there was nothing inside apart from a single white jockstrap. The shorts, singlet and running shoes he had packed only an hour before, were no longer there.

“Where’s my stuff!” he protested angrily “Did you unpack it?”

“You must have packed the wrong bag, you know how careless you are!” replied Tartarus casually

“I didn’t pack the wrong bag! .. it was this one”

“It can’t have been, otherwise you would have your kit! Wouldn’t you?” Tartarus shrugged “Anyway, you have that!”

“A jockstrap?” cried an angry Jordan “I can’t run in nothing but a jockstrap!”

“Why not? There’s nobody here to see you, and I won’t look!”

Jordan scowled, he knew the Ranger would look, he always looked.

“Just wear the jock!” insisted Tartarus “You can’t wear your street clothes, you’ll sweat like a pig in this heat!”

Reluctantly, Jordan put on the jockstrap, at least it would cover his junk, even though it left his bare butt exposed. Thank God there was no-one else there.

Whilst preoccupied in peering into the distance to ensure there were no observers on the beach, Jordan failed to notice the ranger opening his own beach bag and taking out a large object.

Then he heard a gentle humming sound behind him, he spun round to see a bizarre flying object shaped like a ping-pong paddle, seemingly hovering in the air in front of him.

“What the f….. what’s THAT?”

*

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